No fooling, tonight the final nine Idols were mentored by the one and only Dolly Parton and sang songs written and/or recorded by the Nashville icon—a theme that could play right into the hands of KLC…but we’re getting ahead of ourselves.
The Idols started off their time with Dolly with a rousing rendition of “9 to 5” which, thank goodness, we didn’t have to hear any one of our Idols sing for your votes.
When it came time to show what they learned from Dolly, here’s what happened.
- Brooke White hit the stage first and, with guitar in hand and accompanied by a fiddle, backup singer, and a man playing a shoe-shine box, Brooke lent her vocals to “Jolene”. Brooke really seems to find her comfort zone when she is playing an instrument as she sings, so tonight was another good performance for me. But the judges saw a slightly different performance: Randy gave it the “it was aw’ight” critique, Paula complimented Brooke on her consistency, and Simon brought it home by saying she “lacked emotion” while “rushing through the song”.
- Before David Cook had the opportunity to impress us, he was essentially forced to cop to the fact that his “unique” song arrangements of the past few weeks were actually copies of other people’s copies…but unlike what we learned in the Michael Keaton classic, “Multiplicity”, a copy of a copy can be as good as the original—especially if the song is being delivered by Mr. Cook. This week David did his own arrangement of “Little Sparrow”. And like previous weeks, he did an awesome job and further cemented his position as one of the most talented artists of this year’s crop of Idol wannabes. Randy gave David serious props, Paula noted David’s haircut (which for a brief time erased the fact he has a comb over), and Simon said while it wasn’t as good as last week (“Billie Jean”), he thought David did a good job of “making a song about a sparrow sound good!”—you’ll recall that Simon was pretty critical of Carly when she sang “Blackbird” a couple of weeks ago, so Simon must have something against birds.
- Up next was the vertically challenged Ramiele—who gave Dolly a run for the most petite person on the show. Ramiele selected “Do I Ever Cross Your Mind” and looked every bit as uncomfortable as she sounded trying to sing a country song. She may have picked the absolute wrong song because after she finished, she might be asking that very question after tomorrow night’s elimination show. The judges (the one’s who count at least) didn’t like it with Simon essentially saying it was very forgettable.
- Likely “dreading” tonight’s theme, Jason Castro spent a bit of time with Dolly who made a lame dreadlock joke that fell quite flat—a concept foreign to Ms. Parton. Predictably, Jason strummed his guitar on center stage and sang “Travelin Through” and did a pretty decent job. Randy liked it, Paula babbled on about it being a strong performance, but Simon was quite critical saying he “didn’t get it”. Jason may very well be in trouble again this week.
- Slowing down the tempo and adding an acoustic guitar accompaniment to “Here You Come Again”, Carly gave a strong performance. She again showed why she is one of the best singers to grace the stage this year. Randy and Paula gushed about the performance, but Simon was a killjoy and said it was “good, not great” and then provided the ultimate downer by telling Carly that she needs to have a word with wardrobe because if Carly wants to be taken seriously as a pop star, she is going to have to start dressing like one. Ryan came to her defense and questioned what was wrong with Mr. Cranky Pants—to which Simon said he was simply “saying the things that the people at home were thinking”.
- David Archuleta tried to get the train back on the tracks with his version of “Smoky Mountain Memories”—which during rehearsal brought tears to Dolly’s false eye lashed eyes. It was another strong singing performance by the 17-year-old, but I would like to see young David start to sing songs that are little more in the vein of a singer his age. The judges all thought it was spectacular with Simon saying the song was “on the money” which is great, but doesn’t change my opinion about wanting him you go more youthful.
- KLC lent her countrified vocals to “The Coat of Many Colors” which was quite appropriate as the song could very well have been dedicated to the dress she was wearing. I must give credit where credit is due and say that KLC did pretty well. Randy and Paula agreed with me, however Simon thought the performance was “pleasant”, but nothing special. And in what amounts to things better left unsaid, Ryan complimented KLC on her French pedicure—is that really where we are going on the #1 show on TV?!
- Syesha Mercado went predictable and selected “I Will Always Love You”. Dressed in an awful yellow wrap dress with a red tie around the waist and seated upon a grand piano, Syesha “phonied” her way through the song. It was yet another in a long line of self-indulgent performances—Syesha is quickly becoming the Season 7 version of Katherine McPhee…good looks, nice voice, but overly dramatic performer. Randy called it “aw-ight”, Paula…nobody cares what Paula says, and Simon said he “almost wished you (Syesha) hadn’t gotten the song”—OUCH! And then said the performance was “a good, not fantastic version of the song”. Ms. Mercado may be in trouble for the second straight week.
- Michael Johns closed the show with a funky version of “It’s All Wrong, but It’s All Right”. Wearing an odd looking blue and pink ascot and joined on stage by a guitar and piano, Michael rocked the song and got good reviews from Randy and Paula…but Simon capped off the critiques by saying it was the best Michael had sounded yet. And then my DVR stopped….
But before you get all hot and bothered thinking I missed anything, never fear for I had a backup plan and that plan was called recording the next show on Fox, “Hell’s Kitchen”!—gotta love Chef Gordon Ramsay.
Anyway, the show was all but over except for another run through the numbers—which I don’t pay attention to because I don’t vote…I know, big shocker, but I want to maintain my unbiased opinion about our Idols.
So, who is going to take up residence in tomorrow’s bottom three? If I were a member of the voting public, here are the three Idols who would NOT receive my vote:
- Ramiele
- Jason Castro
- Syesha Mercado
And the Idol going home (of my bottom three) SHOULD be Ramiele.
But don’t take my word for it, watch tomorrow night or wait for my recap…either way, I will continue watching TV so you don’t have to…
Charlie
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