American Idol - Would the Top 5 Make Diamonds or Coal? (4/29/08)

Before we get into a review of tonight’s show, I have just one question: Has anyone noticed that Ryan’s hair is looking more and more like a faux-hawk with an obvious transition to the good ol’ Big Boy look? Just wondering

So with that query behind us it is time to check in with the Final Five Idols to see who would shine as they covered the great Neil Diamond’s songbook. And tonight we get to double our pleasure as each of the remaining Idols get to sing two songs—that’s 10 songs sung by the remaining five Idols…and you thought you were safe from math.

With a two-round event scheduled for the night, let’s check out Round 1:

· Jason predictably greeted the audience with his guitar and falsetto and gave “Forever in Blue Jeans” a whirl. During his performance, the camera came to rest on Simon who appeared to be grimacing and looking away from the stage—which could only mean one thing…he wasn’t all that impressed. But Idol did something different tonight and didn’t allow the judges to provide feedback until after each Idol sang their first song—so we wait with baited breath to get their opinions; however you don’t have to wait for mine. I thought it was quite boring.

· Let’s see what David Cook could do with his first song, “I’m Alive”. Neil said he got goose bumps watching and listening to David C. rehearse his songs, but would that translate to the stage? Like Jason, David grabbed his guitar and sang to the audience—the key difference was David ROCKED IT OUT! He even sounded a bit like Neil.

· Brooke warned us in her video clip leading up to her performance that she would be playing two instruments tonight—the first was the guitar as she sang the great Monkee’s hit, “I’m a Believer”. As I watched Brooke perform I couldn’t help but think that she should have gone home last week and we wouldn’t have to listen to her perform a song that only Little Davey Jones could really sing and have people believe. Not impressed.

· Could young David Archuleta get us back on track? If he going to do it, it’ll happen with him leaving his comfort zone with a somewhat upbeat version of “Sweet Caroline”. There is no denying that David A. has singing talent, but I normally find him a bit of a downer—primarily due to his somber song selection, but tonight his choice of song was good. I’m just not convinced he delivered his best tonight. But the young ladies in the audience (and at home with their phones) LOVE him and he is no danger of going home.

· Closing out Round 1 was Syesha who tried to recapture the magic she created last week (when she sang great, but still ended up in the bottom two). She chose to sing “Hello Again” and got off to a very rocky start—with me, that is. She sounded fine, but she was bare foot and sitting on the stage—two things I think really take away from any performance. In the end, I think Syesha gave a very mediocre performance.

As Ryan gave out the numbers for Syesha, he brought out the Idols and asked the judges for their opinions:

Randy:

Jason: Just OK, better than last week, but just OK
David Cook: Very good, in the zone, doing your thing
Brooke: Very Karaoke
David A: The bomb
Syesha: Strong, in the zone

When it came time for Paula to offer her words of wisdom, she characteristically pulled a Paula…

Jason: “I loved hearing your lower register on the first song” and then she went on to critique his SECOND song—which he hadn’t even sung yet! Randy stepped in and said “we’re only critiquing the first song right now” to which Paula said: “Oh my God, I thought you sang twice”—Earth to Paula! Are you there, Paula?! I guess I wasn’t the only one who fell asleep listening to Jason warble on…

Simon tried to get her out of trouble by delivering quicker than normal comments:

Jason: forgettable
David Cook: just above average
Brooke: a nightmare (Paula tried to object, but he was right)
David A: amateurish
Syesha: old-fashioned

He then told the Final Fab Five that they need to bring it during their second song, that he wants to “see and hear the performance of a lifetime”…which could be challenging a couple of our Idols.

And with that we dive right into Round 2

Jason tried to redeem himself with “September Morn”. And in predictable fashion, Jason pulled up his well-worn stool, crooned his way through a song that should have a lot of emotion, but sounded like something you would hear in an elevator or a dentist chair. Another very sub-par performance from Mr. Dreads. This time the judges got their licks in right away. Randy called it “just OK”…again. Paula said he played it safe. Simon noted that he had another forgettable performance that wasn’t anything like what got him to this point in the competition.

David Cook broke out his acoustic guitar and sang “All I Really Need is You”—a little known Neil Diamond song. The song started off a bit weak in my opinion, but once he hit the bridge, brought in the balance of the orchestra, and cranked up the tempo, he rocked it for me and made me want to hear the song again and again and again. Randy gave him props for rocking the house (he stole my line); Paula said that she feels like she is already looking at the American Idol (cheers from the audience); and Simon brought down the house when he called the performance “brilliant” and gave him credit for making the song sound like it was written today.

With a second opportunity to mess up, Brooke took to the piano and sang “I Am I Said”—a totally classic Neil Diamond standard which our Miss Brooke added a little personal touch (as suggested by Neil). When the line called for Brooke to sing “Well, I’m New York born and raised”, she instead inserted “Arizona” for “New York”—clever! Compared to her first song, she did a much better job, but I don’t think it is enough to keep her safe. Simon even liked this performance—calling it “a million times better than the first song”—not really all that complimentary given the first one was so bad. All three judges made note that her comfort zone is sitting behind the piano—how lucky is she that she came along during Season 7 and not an earlier season when instruments weren’t allowed?! No need to answer; it was rhetorical.

David A’s second song selection was “America”—I guess he’s going for the fan base recently vacated by Kristy Lee Cook. I know David is going to be safe, he’s built up enough cred with all of the young voters out there with phones, but if I’m being perfectly honest, he did not bring it on this song. His voice cracked and I didn’t believe his performance at all. But the judges felt otherwise: Randy said he was “in the zone” (getting a little redundant, Dawg!), Paula and Simon both complimented him on his smart song selection. I don’t get it, but then again, I’m not his audience.

Closing the show, Syesha tried to improve upon her weak first performance with “Thank the Lord for the Nighttime”—an upbeat song with a very ‘60’s vibe that sounds current thanks in large part to singers like Amy Winehouse (when she’s not getting in huge trouble, that is). Syesha still hasn’t found shoes for her feet, but at least she stayed vertical for the entire song and added a little gospel sound to try to spice things up a bit. Randy thought she found her comfort zone with the song (again with the zone, Sir Repeat-Alot?!); Paula babbled on about Lord knows what; and then Simon called it “officially the strangest show we’ve ever done” before “complimenting” Syesha on being a very good “actress who is a singer” and then hammered her with the “you may be in trouble tonight”. When she asked “why?”, Simon said it was because she didn’t have a memorable second song—I must disagree with you, Simon, because that was the second best performance of the night behind David Cook’s “All I Really Need is You”.

Oh well, it’s now up to you—the voting public to decide who is safe and who’s going home. Here are my predictions in order of how I believe they should finish after this evening’s performances:

David Cook: He was consistent with both songs, really brought originality to the second one, and got mad props from all three judges (which could actually turn out to be a curse—see last week’s judges comments and the Idol who left on Wednesday).

Syesha: Her first song was a real snoozer, but I thought she really brought in on her second song.

David A.: He was mediocre tonight during both songs and that is just good enough to land in the middle of the pack.

Brooke: She was awful in Round 1 and tolerable in Round 2.

Jason: BORING! Every song is starting to sound the same—it’s time for him and his dreads to go back to Texas.

Tune in tomorrow to see how well I can predict the future…or wait until I provide my review of the elimination show.

Until then, I will continue watching TV so you don’t have to…

Charlie

Idol Chatter - Seventh Elimination (4/23/08)

It’s Wednesday and time to end the dreams of another Idol contestant. But before we begin the elimination process, it’s group sing time and the song choice is “That’s All I Ask of You” from Phantom of the Opera. There is no real energy or excitement in the performance as nerves seem to be overtaking the remaining six-pack of Idols—and Jason looks particularly nervous.

Who’s Gone Before?

We’re half-way to our goal of naming Season 7’s American Idol, so it seems like the right time to look back and see whom we have said goodbye to so far:

David Hernandez, male stripper turned Idol wannabe
Amanda Overmeyer, rock ‘n roll nurse who sang every song like she was passing a kidney stone
Chikezie, will forever be known as the guy who funked up the Beatles’ “She’s a Woman”
Ramiele, the tiny Filipino dynamo with the big voice who just never hit her stride once she hit the big stage
Michael Johns, a solid performer in the mold of Jim Morrison and Michael Hutchence who was sent home too soon
Kristy Lee Cook, the horse whisperer from Oregon who skirted elimination like Freddy Kruger in the Halloween flicks

Fox Filler

Ryan sat down with Lord Andrew and asked him questions about performing during which he defended Brooke’s decision to start, stop, and start over on her song last night as well as repeated his confusion about Jason’s song selection.

Then the usual Idol-infused Ford commercial preceded the start of the actual elimination process.

Elimination

Tonight there will be no bottom three—instead we were in search of the bottom two…a genuine twist that wasn’t expected. What will those wacky producers at Fox think of next?!

Ryan started the process by inviting the Davids, David Archuleta and David Cook, out to center stage. He recapped the judges comments from last night and then delivered the news that they are both safe for another week. No big surprise there, but the guys did look a bit shocked when they learned that next week’s mentor is Neil Diamond.

Trip Down Memory Lane

Taking a break from the tedious elimination process, we were transported across the country via the mystery of videotape to New York City where we caught up with Season 1’s Tamara Gray and Clay Aiken from Season 2 who are starring on Broadway—Tamara in “Rent” and Clay in “Spamalot”. Clay also plugged his new album which is scheduled to drop on May 6th.

Elimination Night Entertainment

While the four remaining Idols awaited their fate, Ryan introduced Simon Cowell discovery and top hit maker, Leona Lewis, who performed her number one hit, “Bleeding Love” for the audience.

More Results

Ryan called out Syesha and Brooke from backstage, reviewed the judges comments, and then sent Brooke to safety and Syesha to the stools of discomfort. The only person not surprised was Syesha who, as I correctly predicted last night, hasn’t done enough to build a fan base that can protect her when the number of Idols shrinks.

Needing to find someone to take up residence next to Syesha, Ryan asked Jason and Carly to the stage. Again he reviewed the judges comments from last night, asked the contestants a few questions, and then Ryan told Jason that he is safe and Carly is the unlucky Idol. Pretty much a surprise as Simon called her performance one of his favorites of the night—so much for getting on Simon’s good side.

Before eliminating one of the Idols, Ryan handed the microphone first to Carly to perform “Jesus Christ Superstar” one more time for the audience and then it was Syesha’s turn to sing for possibly the last time on the Idol stage. Both ladies were able to recapture the magic they produced last night—it’s just a shame that either of these girls have to go as they delivered two of the better performances last night.

Who’s Going Home

Like ripping a band-aid off a nasty cut, Ryan told Carly that she is leaving the show. And when he read her name, the audience was silent—and in obvious shock not unlike that which they experienced two weeks ago when Michael Johns was sent packing.

I guess getting a compliment the likes of which Simon gave her last night isn’t a good thing—and in Simon’s words tonight is actually “the kiss of death”.

With Carly’s elimination, we are down to five remaining Idols—the Davids, Jason, Brooke, and Syesha with the last three all on borrowed time.

Tune in next Tuesday to see what the Idol 5 do with the songs of Neil Diamond. Any predictions as to which Idol will try their hand at “Sweet Caroline”? I can hardly wait.

Until then, I will continue watching TV so you don’t have to…

Charlie

Idol Worship - Top 6 Sing Andrew Lloyd Webber (4//22/08)

To help celebrate Earth Day, the Idol producers had Andrew Lloyd Webber mentor the Idols--I'm not sure how those two things tied together, but I wanted to make sure everyone was aware of the special day. The Idols certainly had their work cut out for them—or so the judges would have us believe. Simon predicted that it would be one of the most difficult nights of the season.

So let’s see how the Idols performed with one of the most prolific composers in the history of musical theatre as their guide.

Leading off the night was Syesha who selected “One Rock & Roll Too Many”—a song she selected to show a little personality. ALW predicted that she would “bring the house down”, but what house would it be?....the penthouse or the dawg house?! Perched atop a grand piano and stylishly dressed in a tight, red dress, Syesha charmed the crowd, danced with Ricky Minor (band leader), and flirted with the guitar player. I was pleasantly surprised at her performance and felt very entertained. Randy called it her best performance to date and said she could have a future as a star on Broadway. Simon called the performance “very sexy…very Michelle Pfeiffer”. A great start to the show indeed!

Jason Castro chose “Memories” from Cats and gave Mr. Webber a bit of a shock—in so much as ALW never thought he would see the day when a man with dreads would be singing this much loved Broadway hit. Jason was equally surprised to find that it was such a well-known song—OMG this kid is young! When it came time to perform, Jason was seated upon a stool, dressed in a white suit with matching white hush puppies, and in obvious discomfort with his song selection. Jason struggled with the song—Randy went so far as to call it “a train wreck”. Paula tried to make it all better by complimenting him on his song selection—proving once again that Paula is watching a totally different show then the rest of us here on this Planet (plug for Earth Day). Simon summed the performance up by saying to Jason that it was probably “the longest two minutes of your life”—OUCH! Looks like Mr. Castro might be headed for the bottom three come tomorrow night.

Brooke White sang “You Must Love Me” a new song written by Andrew and his long time collaborator, Tim Rice, from the new Evita movie. During her time with Andrew, Brooke struggled to understand what the song was about, but with Andrew's help, she grasped it…or did she? Brooke pulled the old start/stop routine for the second time this season—but this time the entire band had to start over when Brooke messed up the opening lyric. Whoops! Eventually she got through the song, but how would the judges and America handle the false start? Randy was mixed in his feelings about her performance; he complimented her on taking Andrew’s direction, but felt she was a bit weak in the delivery. Paula told her that she “must never start and stop”—strong words for Paula. Simon said this is “why I love live TV” and then poured salt on the wound by saying Brooke won't be happy when she watches her performance back. But in a rare moment of human compassion, he said that she was right to start and stop—and Randy agreed. Sorry, Paula, you picked the wrong time for tough love. And Brooke picked the wrong week to forget her lyrics because she is likely going to join Jason in the bottom three, but there are three more performances yet to come.

Before performing his song, David Archuleta received hugs from a gaggle of young ladies from the front row of the Idol audience. David chose “Think of Me” from The Phantom of the Opera. Andrew's only piece of advice for David was to keep his eyes open when he sings this song--which just happens to be a girl song. When he hit the stage, young David struggled to not close his eyes—and the few times he did close them, he quickly re-opened them making for a very awkward looking performance…so I closed my eyes and found his vocal performance quite pleasing. BTW: David’s eyes are hazel. Randy broke out his “if you can sing, you can sing anything” comment and them proclaimed him “the bomb, the one too beat!”. Paula babbled on as usual. And Simon called it “pleasant” and “one of your weakest performances of the past few weeks”, but also assured him that he is going to be safe.

Carly originally wanted to do “All I Ask of You” from Phantom, but Andrew halted her two bars into rehearsal and told her she had to go to option two: “Jesus Christ Superstar”—a wise decision (and the correct one!). For the first time in weeks Carly actually looked like she was having fun—as was Ricky Minor who was caught cuttin’ a rug while directing the band in a very hip version of the song. Randy called the performance good, but not necessarily her best; Paula…who really cares what Paula said; and Simon called it “one of my favorite performances of the night”—a comment which prompted Carly to run around the stage showing off a T-Shirt which read: “Simon Loves Me (this week)”.

So how would David Cook close the show? David chose “Music of the Night” from Phantom—a song which Andrew called the sexiest song he has ever written. David practiced singing the song with passion directly to Andrew—AWKWARD! Then he headed to the Idol stage to stare longingly into the cameras to win your votes. David called upon his musical theatre background to deliver a very convincing performance. According to Randy, it was “another molten-hot performance”. Simon said he preferred the grittier version of David, but that he still did a nice job. David should be safe.

So with strong performances by Syesha, the Davids, and Carly, who will join Jason and Brooke in the bottom three? Well, if I were to predict—like I do each week, I would say it is going to be Syesha simply because tonight was the first time she actually showed some personality and it may be too late for her to build a base like the rest of the Idols.

Tune in tomorrow to see for yourself who’s dream of superstardom is dashed by lack of votes.

Until then, I will continue watching TV so you don’t have to…

Charlie

Idol Chatter - Sixth Elimination (4/16/08)

Once referred to as hump day, Wednesday is now known as elimination day.  Tonight’s elimination show kicked off with the Lucky 7 Idols singing their version of the Mariah Carey/Boyz II Men classic, “One Sweet Day”.  I must admit they sounded pretty good—could it be that the producers are doing a better job of selecting group songs or are ther Idols just getting better each week? 

 

Query aside, the rest of the elimination night unfolded with few surprises, but there were some definite highlights like a live performance by Mariah herself as well as a visit from one of my favorite Idol contestants of all the time, Elliott Yamin.

 

Housekeeping—aka the usual plugs to start the show

 

• A reminder about the song writing contest for those interested in penning the first song that THE American Idol will record upon donning the crown
• Recap of the previous night’s performances—the high points (the Davids) and the low ones (Brooke and Carly)

 

Couch or Stool?

 

As has been the custom this season, the Idols are brought out to center stage one by one where they learn how America voted—at least whether they are safe or in the bottom three.  Well tonight’s elimination process was a bit more convoluted.  Read on to see what I mean…

 

• First out was Jason Castro who was sent to neither the couch or the stools—but rather asked by Ryan to start a group on the left.
• With the crowd oohing an aahing, David Cook came out and was sent to Ryan’s right—to which the crowd seemed caught between a boo and a cheer
• Before finding out which side of the stage she was being sent, Carly Smithson turned to Simon and said “you’ve been a bit hard on me”—to which Simon said he sees tremendous potential and just wants to push her a bit more…then she was asked to join Jason
• Kristy Lee Cook came out next and was asked about Simon’s comments about her performance.  She said most of the time she agrees with him, but then again he can be “a butt-head” sometimes…OUCH!  Simon seemed to take it in stride and then Kristy joined David C.

 

So with Carly and Jason on the right and the Cooks (David and Kristy Lee) on the left, we were made to wonder what the producers had in store for us this week.  Would it be another shocking elimination?  Were the three Idols left back stage in the bottom three?  Do these pants made my butt look big?

 

Answers to those questions and a whole lot more would have to wait because Idol has a commitment to Ford where they make a silly commercial starring the Idols each week and we had to watch it before heading back to the stage.

 

And when we returned, we were treated to Elliott Yamin singing “Free” from his self-titled album.  Looking quite cool with his curly mop of hair and wonderful new smile, dressed in a purple crushed velvet blazer and white scarf, Elliott showed that you don’t have to win Idol to do well in the music industry.  The crowd loved his funky white boy sound like they did when he was a contestant during Season 5.  As he ended his song, he showed his palm on which he had written “We Miss You Mom”—a memorial to his mother who passed away a few days ago.  It was quite touching especially given his humble nature.

 

Back to the drama of what fate awaits the final three Idols?

 

• Syesha sauntered out and was asked to join Jason and Carly.  Curious…as I predicted that the bottom three would include Syesha and Carly…we’ll just have to wait and see which group is safe and which one is in trouble
• Brooke came out next and was told to join the Cook’s—so we have Brooke and the Cooks!  Clever, eh?!

 

So that leaves David Archuleta—the early season favorite who stumbled several weeks ago, has been consistent the past few performances, and was anointed the front runner after his during last night’s show by Simon. 

 

But before finding out to which side David A. is going to be sent, we took a few calls from Idol fans—don’t they have anything better to do than call Idol?  I mean, get a life—it’s TV J

 

And when the silliness was finally over, Mariah Carey took to the stage to show the Idols how it’s done.  Mariah sand “Bye Bye” off her new album, E=MC2.  The thing I love about Mariah is that she is so demure in everything she does from the six-inch heels to the diamond-encrusted microphone/stand.  Look up Mariah Carey in the dictionary and you’re likely to see a reference to wall flower. 

 

On the other hand, it was refreshing to see her add some bling to her get up—and by bling I mean a Hello Kitty band-aid that adorned her right hand and was in full view as she directed her back up singers as well as showed the audience which way her voice was going next. 

 

BTW:  For all of you wondering how Mariah stays in such great shape, you came to right place to find out.  According to OK magazine, she does it with water aerobics which, according to Mariah, provides her three times the workout…of what we’re not sure, she didn’t say in the article.

 

And when Mariah was finished singing her song, she tried to leave the stage, but couldn’t because Ryan was totally crushin’ on her—it was kind of disturbing because Ryan only came up to about her elbow.  But Mariah was a good sport about it and played along with Ryan’s not-so-clever banter.

 

Back to the business of eliminating our sixth contestant

 

• The final Idol, David Archuleta, was welcomed on stage and, before Ryan told him where to stand, he was told he was safe and then Ryan asked David to pick the side he thought was also safe—the old Lucky 7 trick, of course…who would have guessed? I mean they do it just about every year at this time.

 

But before Ryan gave David A. the go ahead to pick a side, he asked David Cook to swap places with Syesha…and then David A. took a seat on center stage—just like Bo Bice did during Season 5.  Then Ryan started motioning young David to move toward the group with Carly, Jason, and David C.

 

In case you didn’t follow that, let me recap:  The Davids, the Irish girl, and Dr. Dreads are all safe; The blondes and Syesha made up the bottom three.

 

To recap even further:  I predicted a bottom three of Syesha, KLC, and Carly…and I missed by one.  And I also predicted that Carly would be eliminated—missed that one too.

 

Sent to safety…

 

As the three girls stood together looking like a trio of deer in the headlights, Ryan sent Syesha to the couch.  And then Ryan asked for the judge’s predictions on who is going home:  Randy and Paula, of course, skirted the question while Simon said KLC’s time was up—to which everyone in the auditorium objected, but he turned out to be accurate in his prediction.

 

It’s the end of the road for KLC and now her mission in life is to get the horse back that she sold to get to her audition in Philadelphia. 

 

So we say goodbye to KLC and hello to ALW—as in Andrew Lloyd Webber who is scheduled to be next week’s guest mentor for the remaining six Idols. 

 

The show ended with KLC seated upon the judge’s table and singing directly to a visibly uncomfortable Simon.  She eventually made her way back to the stage where the surviving Idols engulfed her in cheers and support.  And then Fox cut her off…

 

So goes another Idol elimination.  Tune in next Tuesday to see what Andrew does with the Final 6—it’s anyone’s guess as to what Broadway songs the Idols will pick, we’ll just have to watch and see.

 

Until then, I will continue watching TV so you don’t have to…

 

Charlie

Idol Worship - Top 7 Perform Songs by Mariah (4/15/08)

Still buzzing and in shock from last week’s elimination of Michael Johns, tonight the Lucky 7 Idols took the stage and sang the songs of Mariah Carey—the newly crowned Queen of # 1 hits (surpassing Elvis, the King of Rock ‘n Roll) with her 18^th #1 hit. 

 

So with a seemingly endless supply of quality songs from which to choose, it is now up to the Idols to do something memorable with them.  But what would that “something” be?—would they do the unthinkable and try to imitate her five-octave range or would they try to make the song their own?  Only time would tell…and that time has come, so read on…

 

• Leading off the show and singing “When You Believe” was David Archuleta—another in the long line of ballads chosen by David.   Upon meeting Ms. Carey, David was flustered and admitted to not being worthy of being in her presence.  Her only advice to him was to not be afraid to go up into his falsetto—which he did for one note.  The crowd loved it—I wasn’t so much into it.  When it came to the judges, Randy called it “the bomb”, Paula said he likely “made Mariah proud”, and Simon called it “very, very good”—he also pulled a Randy and said that he had a number one hit with that particular song in the UK some years ago.  And here I sit unaware of the song to this day…
• Looking like she finally met with a stylist, Carly wore a lovely blue dress with sleeves and looked the part of torch singer to a T!  Mariah was quite complementary of Carly upon meeting her and thought Carly’s choice of song, “Without You”, was a good one.  Mariah called the song a classic—high praise for one’s own song, but when you are the Queen of the Pop Charts, you can do just about anything.  Randy thought she challenged herself with a difficult song and didn’t really get into it until the middle of it.  Paula told her she needs to trust herself more.  And Simon said he didn’t think she pulled the song off—which brought out boos from the audience.  Simon said she appeared to be thinking too much during the performance and that adversely affected the song.
• Syesha selected “Vanishing”, a song Mariah wrote as a 17-year-old girl.  Mariah gave her some nice tips on how to sing the song.  Like Carly, Syesha chose to have a piano on stage along with the back up singers.  Randy thought she picked one of the toughest songs of the night and did well; Paula pointed out that she was smart to pick a song which few people know (guilty, again!); and Simon said Syesha was good technically, but it might have been a mistake picking a song not very well known…and I couldn’t agree more.  If it weren’t for my “job” of watching the entire show, I would have fast forwarded through Syesha’s performance.

 

With three of the seven performances in the bank, Simon said that so far the night belongs to David Archuleta—he called him “the one to beat” while Paula tried to get a plug in for Syesha…which didn’t work, of course because who listens to Paula?

 

• Brooke was next and before seeing her mentoring session with Mariah, she sat with Ryan and whined about missing her sister’s wedding.  Brooke selected “Hero” and Mariah encouraged her to be real and to sing from her heart.  Seated at the piano and dressed in a sparkly black dress, Brooke poured her heart into the song, but may have come up a bit short as the vocals were no where near Mariah’s.  Randy picked up on Brooke’s shortcomings, but gave her credit for doing the whole “singer/songwriter” thing—meaning she kept the orchestra out of the mix.  Simon compared Brooke’s performance to “ordering a hamburger, but only getting the bun…because the bit in the middle was missing”.  And while I wouldn’t make the same analogy, I agree that Brooke missed the mark especially during the second half of the song.
• During her meeting with Mariah, Kristy Lee Cook gave Ms. Carey goose bumps while practicing “Forever”—a song Mariah thought was a good selection because not many people know it and she felt KLC would do a good job singing it.  Standing on stage in a shiny silver knee-length number and with a piano accompanying her, KLC did her version of “belting out” the song.  The crowd seemed to like it, but having never heard the song myself, I had no reference point from which to start.  Randy was wishy-washy in his critique; Paula thought it could be a hit for KLC the way it was arranged…and then proceeded to stumble over her words; and Simon said he didn’t get chills like Mariah.
• David Cook selected “Always Be My Baby”, a huge pop hit to which David was sure to add his unique flavor.  Mariah called his version “haunting”—a compliment.  David slowed the arrangement and gave it more of a rock feel which fit his style perfectly.  As with previous performances, I think David could have a hit with this version—especially when the full orchestra and background singers kicked in after the bridge.  But what did the judges think?  Randy seconded my thoughts and went so far as to say Mr. Cook is ready to make an album, then he gave him a standing “O”…Paula thought the song could have be in a movie soundtrack…and Simon said it was like coming out of karaoke Hell (boos from the audience), but then it became clear he wasn’t talking about David’s performance because he went on to say that the performance was “original, daring, and stood out by a mile” and gave David mad props for taking risks and delivering—words that brought tears to David’s eyes and, no doubt, thrust him into the lead position for the night.
• With the unenviable job of following David’s strong performance was Jason Castro who chose to do “I Don’t Want Cry” which Mariah thought was different.  Flanked by two acoustic guitars and a bongo player, Jason sat on a stool during his performance.  Basically the song sounded just about like every other song Jason has performed with the exception of last week’s “Over the Rainbow” and “Hallelujah” from several weeks back.  Randy didn’t love it—he compared it to being at a luau on the beach with some music off in the distant.  Paula said she wants to be at the luau and then Simon shocked everyone by agreeing with Paula and heaping praise upon Jason and his performance.

 

With all seven performances over, Simon said the boys won the night—which can only mean one thing in his mind:  the bottom three could be missing a “Y” chromosome.  And based on the judges comments tonight, I am inclined to agree.  So to recap the bottom three:

 

• Carly
• Syesha
• Brooke

 

Going home?  Against my better judgment, I’m going to predict that America is going to send the last foreign-born Idol wannabe packing—it is the end of the road for Carly.

 

Tune in Wednesday night to see Mariah perform one of her hits and then watch as Ryan puts the Lucky 7 through living Hell as they learn the results of your votes.

 

Until then, I will continue watching TV so you don’t have to…

 

Charlie

Idol Chatter - Fifth Elimination (4/9/08)

A night after raising over $60M during the special “Idol Gives Back” event, it was time to get back to business and say good-bye to one of the remaining Elite 8 Idol wannabes.

 

The show kicked off with the Idols singing a song of inspiration as a group with the help of two choirs bookending them.

 

After a few left over celebrity call outs for donations to raise more “Idol Gives Back” money, we were ready to find out which of our Idols were safe and which ones were in trouble.

 

• Brooke White was first and found out she is not going to be able to attend her sister’s wedding this weekend because she is safe.
• David Cooke came out next and Ryan sent him to the sofa of safety.
• David Archuleta met Ryan center stage and then joined Brooke and David C. on the couch. 

 

So with three Idols safe and only five more to go, the odds of those still waiting to learn their fate weren’t looking good.

 

But when we returned from commercial and were shown more of a video from Forrest Whitaker and his wife’s trip to Africa, I was beginning to wonder if Idol was going to give all of our Idols another week on the show—that would be the kind thing to do since it would be quite heartless to send someone home during a week of charity.

 

Before finding out what was to happen to the remaining five Idols, we were treated to a performance by the reigning American Idol, Jordin Sparks, and Chris Brown.  The duo sang “No Air” which sounded over produced to me—which is a bit disappointing as I liked Jordin’s sound when she won the crown last year.  But to show you what I know about the music industry, after the song Ryan brought out a number of awards for Jordin based on the many, many downloads of not only this song, but a couple of others.  Oh well, I guess Simon’s job is safe—from me at least.

 

After the requisite Ford commercial featuring our Idols, we joined Ryan back on stage to learn more results of your votes.

 

• Jason Castro ambled out to hear how the audience liked his version of “Over the Rainbow”…they did and he’s safe for another week...something’s up tonight
• KLC was tricked into thinking she was in trouble only to be spun around and sent to the couches with the rest of the Idols before her—now I’m pretty sure something is in the air.
• So with five Idols safe and three Idols back stage, Ryan told us that Syesha, Carly, and Michael Johns were this week’s bottom three—which was not well-received by the stunned Idols.  I guess my theory about no one going home was just that—a theory, not reality.

 

Before we found out whose run on Idol has ran out, Bono was given the opportunity to talk with America about making the world a better place—followed by Presidential candidates Hillary Clinton, John McCain, and Barack Obama who all extended their pleas for America to donate to Idol Gives Back.

 

With confusion reigning supreme, it was time to learn whose journey has ended.

 

When asked about their thoughts on the bottom three, Randy expressed surprise, Paula thought America got it right and got it wrong (WHAT?!), but Simon said America is finally listening to him and was right on the mark—not a good sign for any of the bottom three.

 

Ryan then sent Carly and Syesha to safety and told us that Michael Johns received the fewest votes—a shocking revelation for Michael, the audience, and just about anyone who recognizes talent.  This elimination has to be ranked as one of the most surprising since Chris Daughtry was given the boot during Season 5.

 

But just as the news was sinking in, Ryan reminded us that last year during the “Idol Gives Back” results show, no one was sent home—which turned out to be a cruel trick as that wasn’t the case on this night.  Michael was going home and no amount of wishful thinking on anyone's part was going to change the results.  In my humble opinion, I think America got it wrong.

 

But regardless of the voting results, I predict that Michael is going to become a big recording star—he has wonderful stage presence, a big voice, and talent beyond what the votes showed this week.

 

Oh, just in case you are keeping track at home, I did quite well on my prediction of this week’s bottom three—correctly naming two of the three, but missing totally on the Idol going home.  I don’t know if anyone would have predicted Michael’s fate, but I guess not enough people felt he deserved to wear an ascot on next week’s show…

 

Tune in next Tuesday to see how the post-Michael Johns Idols do with Mariah Carey as their mentor and they vie for your votes.

 

Until then, I will continue watching TV so you don’t have to…

 

Charlie

Idol Gives Back (4/9/08)

Idol Gives Back:  A one-night event that is quickly becoming one of the biggest money raising TV shows that benefits disadvantaged children around the world.

 

The show opened with the “So You Think You Can Dance” top 10 from last season plus a few SYTYCD all-stars and the Elite 8 Idols as they joined forces to deliver a little song and dance routine to the cheers of the audience and the viewing public.

 

Once the show kicked off proper, the celebrity sightings were a virtual who’s who of the entertainment pages of your favorite magazines.

 

• NASCAR’s Jimmie Johnson asked his legion of fans to donate to this worthy cause

• George Lopez appealed to the Spanish-speaking audience to reach into their pockets
• Aussie native Kyle Minogue was up next and asked her fans from Down Under to donate what they could
• Maria Shriver quoted Ghandi in her plea for not only money donations, but also asked people to volunteer their time
• Ben Stiller went for humor in asking for donations reaching a gagillion dollars—a made up number according to Wikipedia
• Blinged out and wearing an Idol Gives Back hoodie, Snoop Dogg rapped while his pee-wee football team stormed the stage—in a good way, of course.  For those of you not familiar with Snoop, he ain’t no Cliff Huxtable
• With a strategically placed band-aid on his check, LA Laker Kobe Bryant asked basketball fans around the country to put a full-court press on poverty
• Triple H from the WWE showed a softer side in asking wrestling fans to put their wallets into a figure-four leg lock and donate
• Idol judges, Randy and Paula, traded their comfortable chairs for center stage and introduced a video shot at Goshen Elementary school located not far from the Idol stage, but a world away in comfort and safety
• A not very clever skit with Carrie Underwood and “Desperate Housewives” plumber James Denton and his one-time main squeeze, Teri Hatcher lead into a performace of Carrie’s “Before He Cheats” by Teri with James playing the acoustic guitar in the band.  She started pretty good, but got a bit pitchy as she made her way through the song—there is no way she’s the next American Idol!
• DWTS’s Mary Murphy threatened to do her signature “woo-hoo” scream until everyone watching donated.  Idol Executive Producer, Nigel Lythgoe, pleaded with everyone to give in to Mary—because she is so darn annoying.
• The Jonas Brothers gave out the phone number and Idol website for donations
• Billy Crystal did a little Idol-related schtick and told a nice little story about a young lady who wanted sing on the show—that young lady was Miley Cyrus…aka Hannah Montana and Billy Ray Cyrus’ daughter.  Billy and Miley did a little lame banter with Billy acting like he didn’t know who she was—it was pretty much a total waste of time…shocking, I know.  And then she turned the tables and asked him if he “is in show business”.  Real yawner…and then Miley sang “Good and Broken Chains”.
• Bono delivered a message from Africa and shared the story of a pretty fantastic lady who helps AIDS victims in Africa who need medicines to help fight this awful disease.  It is really heart breaking to see these young children who were born HIV-positive and need these drugs just to have a chance—slight as it might be, to live another day. 
• Fergie accompanied by John Legend sang “Finally”, a song John wrote and the two performed at this year’s Grammy Award show.  The Duchess did a nice job, thanked those who donated already, and then introduced Ann and Nancy Wilson—aka Heart!
• The Wilson sisters rocked the house with a rousing rendition of “Barracuda”.  Fergie joined the sisters on stage half-way through the song and she strutted her stuff in pair of tight black leather pants—which made Ann look like a small mountain, but you can not deny Ann’s voice is still as strong as ever. 
• The second WWE Superstar, John Cena, threatened to put anyone who didn’t donate in a headlock.
• Adam Sandler and his sleeping bulldog asked everyone watching to get off the couch and donate
• The first family of the NFL, Eli and Peyton Manning, hit the stage at the Kodak Theatre to update everyone on the progress that is being made in their hometown of New Orleans.  We were treated to a video featuring some wonderful young men in New Orleans who are still dealing with the trauma from Hurricane Katrina. 
• The first family of celebrity Soccer, Posh and David Beckham, asked for footballer fans in the viewing audience to bend their wallets like the Beckhams and donate.
• Bono’s second video installment from Africa highlighted the story of a young man who lost both parents to AIDS.
• Annie Lennox shared the story of a family of four brothers who lost their entire family to AIDS.  The eldest boy is 15 and is the head of the family—that is just not right.  Annie took the boys to a hospital in South Africa where they were tested for HIV/AIDS—thankfully their tests came back negative and for at least one day, they were able to act like children.
• Annie then performed “Many Rivers to Cross”, a Jimmy Cliff song, back at the Kodak Theatre.  And while she played the piano and sang with her emotions on full display, a video of her time with these courageous young men played on the screens in the background.
• Jimmy Kimmel introduced Simon Cowell—but not before insulting Simon’s clothing, his anatomy, and his haircut.  When he finally gave Simon his time, we were rewarded with a video which showed Simon in a New York City neighborhood where he visited a family who has little, suffers much, and desperately needs help.  It was quite moving hearing the mother of this family, who is quite sick, ask for everyone to please, please, please donate. 
• Then Simon introduced the very talented Carrie Underwood who dazzled in an iridescent gold, floor-length dress and finally got to sing a song.
• Gloria Estefan and Sheila E. teamed up on “Get On Your Feet”—and pleaded with the audience to shake their money makers and donate what fell out of their pockets…quite clever!
• Sarah Silverman, Jimmy Kimmel’s main squeeze and a very saucy comic, dialed it down a bit and updated us on the great work of a host of people and organizations who are helping the many Africans who suffer from Malaria.  Forrest Whitaker hosted a video showing the effects of this terrible disease—yet another disease that is causing African children to become extremely sick and even death.  To help these children, they need malaria nets and special pills to safe their lives—the cost:  $10/net, $2/pill.  A small price to pay for these children to have a chance at a happy life.
• Gordon Brown, Prime Minister of Great Britain, said that the UK would pay for 20 million nets for these African children—that is the equivalent of $200M US.  And then he urged other world leaders to do the same.
• Reese Witherspoon shined a spotlight on the “Children’s Defense Fund”—a charity very close to her heart.  A video shot in New Orleans and highlighting a mother who is struggling to raise her children in a very dangerous area was shown.  To help break the cycle of poverty, drugs, and danger, these children and a number of others in the area attend an after school program which is helping them live a better life. 
• The Elite 8 took time away from the phones to sing “Seasons of Love” from the hit Broadway musical, Rent.  Flanked by a couple of gospel choirs and seated around a grand piano, the Idols sounded great with each lending their unique style and sound to a wonderful song of hope.
• Dane Cook introduced Alisha Keys, a talented singer-songwriter who we learned is the global ambassador to “Keep a Child Alive” which is a charity that provides care to children with AIDS.  Alisha took us on a tour of Africa and shared the story of a grandmother who is taking care of her grandchildren because their parents died of AIDS.
• Ashley Tisdale and Vanessa Hudgens from the “High School Musical” franchise pleaded with kids to dig into their piggy banks and their parents to get out their wallets and donate
• Miley Cyrus was back to vamp it up, sing “I Can’t Wait to See You Again”, and to appeal once again to the ‘tween crowd—aka David Archuleta’s key demographic. 
• Then Miley took us back to Clay County, KY—the childhood home of Billy Ray Cyrus.  She introduced us to a family living in extreme poverty—in a home that most of us only know about from reading books and watching Farrelly Brother movies.  But to these people, these conditions are very real.  This family’s children as well as a number of those living in this area have been provided books and the opportunity to learn to read and learn—which will lead them to the chance at creating a better life for themselves and their families.
• To provide some comic relief, Ryan introduced us to the recently crowned Russian Idol, Ivan Popanov, who bore a striking resemblance to America’s very own, Robin Williams.  Dressed in black leather pants and a gaudy gold lame-accented shirt that looked as if it were stolen from the closet of Sigfried and Roy, the Russian Idol kibitzed with Ryan while the AI judges sat stage left acting like they were going to do something other than become the butt of the Idol’s “jokes” and then he “sang” a song which was judged by Randy, Paula, and Simon.  Randy called it “forcefully pitchy”, Paula commented on the shirt, and Simon said it was “brilliant”.
• TV funny man David Spade came on next and introduced Brad Pitt who has taken an interest in helping New Orleans recover from the damage left behind by Hurricane Katrina.  Brad was shown helping rebuild houses, digging with President Clinton, and playing catch with the children who suffered the effects of the Hurricane, but who exhibit the strength of a region that will not allow an act of nature to ruin their lives. 
• Brad then came on stage at the Kodak Theatre to the screams of the many ladies in the audience—as well as quite a few of the men.  He introduced a video featuring Daughtry and the time they spent recently in Uganda.  The video was set to Daughtry’s “What About Now” and held anthem status for the children to whom Chris and his band played.
• Other celebrities logging time on the show included Keifer Sutherland, Celine Dion, Whoopie Goldberg, Ellen DeGeneres, Keith Urban, Rob Schneider, Tyra Banks

 

My DVR cut out before the show ended, but I am pretty sure everyone got the theme of the show:  get entertained and donate some money—all in the name of a very good cause.

 

Idol Gives Back was full of emotion, acts of kindness, and generosity—it is wonderful to see a show as big as American Idol lending itself to this type of event…

 

But it’s time to get back to what American Idol is all about—finding the best unsigned singing talent in the country.

 

Until next time, I will continue watching TV so you don’t have to…

 

Charlie

Idol Worship - Top 8 Perform Songs of Inspiration (4/8/08)

Three consecutive nights of Idol kicked off tonight with the Elite 8 who hit the stage and sang songs of inspiration. Tomorrow is the second annual “Idol Gives Back” show which raises money for children’s charities in Africa and the US. And Thursday is elimination night when one of our would-be Idols is shown the door and the Lucky 7 who still have a chance at Idol immortality are revealed. But enough programming notes, how did our Idols do where it mattered?—on center stage! 

•  Leading off was Australian native, Michael Johns who selected “Dreamweaver” by Aerosmith. For the second week in a row, Michael chose to sport an ascot while belting out his song. Not sure of the significance of the ascot look—perhaps it was an ode to Aerosmith front man, Steven Tyler, but whatever it was, Michael got the crowd into it. Randy was a bit critical saying he wasn’t sure the song was very relevant to Michael’s style. Michael explained that he was living his dream and the song fit just perfectly. Simon said Michael’s performance was an “imitation” and called it a bit of a “wannabe” performance—OUCH! But in the end, Simon said he still liked it. 

•  Syesha sang next and decided to cover Season 3 winner, Fantasia’s ”Believe”. I have never been a Fantasia fan—she seems to scream a bit much for me and I am beginning to NOT be much of a Syesha fan because she tends to be a bit over dramatic. Randy was all over Syesha saying she didn’t stack up to Fantasia and while Randy was delivering his critique, Paula babbled as usual saying that it was a shining moment for her—I didn’t get it. Simon said she sang it well, but didn’t meet Fantasia’s standard. Sounds like Season 7’s version of Kat McPhee may be in trouble. 

•  Speaking of McPhee(ver), Jason Castro decided to sing the song that launched her into Idol superstardom, “Over the Rainbow”, but Jason decided to do it in the style of Iz—as in Israel “Iz” Ka’ano’I Kamakawiwo’ole, the great Hawaiian musician. Jason sat on a stool, played his ukulele and blew the judges and the audience away with his interpretation. Randy called it the performance of the night (three singers in, mind you) and Simon said he absolutely loved it—and that should be enough to secure Jason’s safety come Thursday’s elimination show. 

•  Following Jason’s strong performance was Kristy Lee Cook who selected “Anyway” by Martina McBride—and if I’m being perfectly honest (like Simon), I thought she did quite well. I was a little scared for her when I heard her say she was going to do a Martina song, but in the spirit of giving credit where credit is due, she did her thing (Randy-ism). When it was the real Randy’s turn, he said it was pitchy, but good; Paula said it was her best performance to date, and Simon went several steps further saying she picked a great song, sang it well, and looks like a star! High praise indeed. 

•  So what would David Cook do for us tonight? The past few weeks he has taken seemingly strange song selections and created instant hits—I don’t care that he has covered other people’s covers of originals; he still did a great job. This week, David sang “Innocent” from Our Lady of Peace—never heard of them or the song, but they are David’s favorite group and with a name like that, they must give someone inspiration—tonight’s theme. I didn’t really like the song, but David’s a star and took his performance to the masses—as in he walked into the crowd and sang the final few bars directly to the judges. Randy didn’t get David’s performance (in comparison to previous weeks) and Simon plain didn’t like it calling it “pompous”—going so far as to critique his choice to wear a white jacket. David looked a bit defeated after the judge’s comments, but he’ll likely be safe. 

•  Carly was up next and picked a Queen classic, “The Show Must Go On”. Carly used her big voice to deliver what I thought was another strong performance. She still needs help with her wardrobe choices—a black and teal striped tank tucked into black slacks and divided by a gold belt doesn’t exactly spell pop superstar. When the judging began, Randy called the performance “disconnected”, Paula agreed with Randy saying she didn’t “feel engaged”, and Simon said she looked good (really?!), but called it a “strange choice of song”—according to Simon, she over sang the song and came off as angry. Simon said she might be in trouble—and what Simon says usually happens. 

•  David Archuleta struggled selecting a song this week, but decided on “Angels” by Jessica Simpson—the first time that I am aware of in the history of American Idol that one of her songs has been covered by an Idol wannabe. Seated at the grand piano on center stage and singing his heart out, David delivered a strong performance. Randy called it one of his best performance of the competition and Simon said it was the best song selection of the night—then he added that it sounded a bit nasally before assuring him that he will sail into the next round. 

•  Brooke White closed the show with Carole King’s “You’ve Got a Friend”—a fairly pedestrian song selection (and quite predictable for our Miss Brooke). Accompanied by the same grand piano that David A. played a song before, Brooke stood center stage, feet firmly planted on the ground, and sang her song—she appeared to be channeling a bit of Carly’s facial expressions (the scowl, the devil brow, not much smiling), and resisted every urge her body may have had to even sway to the music. When the song was over, Randy said it wasn’t her strongest performance, but he wasn’t “mad at you”—whatever that means. Simon called it a “pleasant walk in the park”, but not original. But the big news was that Brooke refrained from talking over Simon (or any of the judges) for the first time EVER!—which could be attributed to the somber tone of tonight’s show. 

With the performances of the final eight Idols in the books, their fate rests in your hands—the voting public, that is. And as noted earlier, they will learn the results of the vote tallies on Thursday as tomorrow will be dedicated to raising money during the “Idol Gives Back” show—have I mentioned that to you yet? Well, it’s a good cause and should be a great show—so tune in tomorrow and donate what you can. 

Come Thursday the Idols who will likely find themselves in the bottom three are Syesha, Kristy Lee Cook, and Carly—with KLC going home. 

I have a prior commitment the next two nights, so you’ll have to wait until Friday for my reviews of nights two and three of this week’s shows—or you could watch the shows yourself, but what fun would that be?! 

Until we meet again, I will continue watching TV so you don’t have to... 

Charlie

Idol Chatter - Fourth Elimination (4/3/08)

Elimination #3 of the Idol Top 12 occurred tonight—and here’s the briefest of brief recaps:

 

Group Song:  On the night when the remaining Idols went from 9 to 8, we were treated to a rousing rendition of “9 to 5”—if you didn’t see it, you didn’t miss anything.

 

Sofa or Stool:  As with the previous three elimination shows, the Idols came out one-by-one to learn their “safe or bottom three” status.  Those getting comfy on the couch were Michael Johns, David Archuleta, Carly Smithson, David Cook, Syesha, and Jason Castro.  Finding themselves in the bottom three were Ramiele, KLC, and our Miss Brooke—for the record, I was 1 for 3 again this week, correctly predicting that Ramiele would be in the bottom three (I also thought Jason and Syesha would join her—I guess I was wrong).

 

Going Home:  You’ll have to wait for there was much more time to waste—and Idol didn’t want to miss a single minute of fluff or foolishness.

 

Entertainment for the Evening:  “America’s Next Great Band” winners, The Clark Brothers, performed “This Little Light of Mine”.  For those of you not familiar with ANGB, it was an Idol-like contest produced by Fox and held this past winter where bands from around America competed to become America’s next great band—hence the name.  The Clark Brothers are a trio of brothers (again, hence the name) who play country/folk-style music.  They have a unique style and are quite entertaining, but enough about them—tonight it’s all about the Idols.

 

Memory Lane:  We caught up with Idol wannabes from past seasons including Bucky Covington (Season 5), Phil Stacey (6), and Bo Bice (4) who all have settled in or around Nashville—which just happens to be a coincidence based on this week’s theme (Dolly Parton).  Ryan promised more such visits to Idols from yesteryear—oh joy!

 

Hearing from the Expert:  As noted, Dolly Parton was the guest coach for this week and no self-respecting superstar would pass up a chance to shamelessly plug their new album when you have 30-odd million viewers tuned in to watch one Idol’s dreams of becoming crowned the Idol champion come to an end—and Dolly’s no different.  Dolly sang her new song, “Jesus & Gravity” off her new album, Backwoods Barbie.  I like Dolly, but the song was BORING!—and would have landed her in the bottom three had she been held to the same standard as our Idols.

 

The journey ends here:  With our bottom three of Ramiele, KLC, and Brooke draped all over each other at center stage, Ryan sent Brooke to safety, told KLC she would be around to sing another week, and informed Ramiele that she had punched her last ticket on the Idol gravy train.  So for the second week in a row, I correctly predicted who America sent home—anyone care to join me in Vegas or split a lottery ticket?!

 

Next week:  And now we are down to the Idol Elite Eight.  Tune in next Tuesday to find out what songs will help propel our Idols to pop stardom—and which ones will send one unlucky Idol home to rue their song selection.  And then check out Wednesday’s second annual “Idol Gives Back” show to see if they can top the $76M raised last year to fight poverty, hunger, illiteracy, and disaster—or as I like to call it, Elimination NightJ…just kidding, check out this great show and support a great cause.

 

Until then, I will continue watching TV so you don’t have to…

 

Charlie

Idol Worship - Top 9 Do Dolly Parton (4/2/08)

No fooling, tonight the final nine Idols were mentored by the one and only Dolly Parton and sang songs written and/or recorded by the Nashville icon—a theme that could play right into the hands of KLC…but we’re getting ahead of ourselves.

 

The Idols started off their time with Dolly with a rousing rendition of “9 to 5” which, thank goodness, we didn’t have to hear any one of our Idols sing for your votes.

 

When it came time to show what they learned from Dolly, here’s what happened.

 

• Brooke White hit the stage first and, with guitar in hand and accompanied by a fiddle, backup singer, and a man playing a shoe-shine box, Brooke lent her vocals to “Jolene”.  Brooke really seems to find her comfort zone when she is playing an instrument as she sings, so tonight was another good performance for me.  But the judges saw a slightly different performance:  Randy gave it the “it was aw’ight” critique, Paula complimented Brooke on her consistency, and Simon brought it home by saying she “lacked emotion” while “rushing through the song”.
• Before David Cook had the opportunity to impress us, he was essentially forced to cop to the fact that his “unique” song arrangements of the past few weeks were actually copies of other people’s copies…but unlike what we learned in the Michael Keaton classic, “Multiplicity”, a copy of a copy can be as good as the original—especially if the song is being delivered by Mr. Cook.  This week David did his own arrangement of “Little Sparrow”.  And like previous weeks, he did an awesome job and further cemented his position as one of the most talented artists of this year’s crop of Idol wannabes.  Randy gave David serious props, Paula noted David’s haircut (which for a brief time erased the fact he has a comb over), and Simon said while it wasn’t as good as last week (“Billie Jean”), he thought David did a good job of “making a song about a sparrow sound good!”—you’ll recall that Simon was pretty critical of Carly when she sang “Blackbird” a couple of weeks ago, so Simon must have something against birds.
• Up next was the vertically challenged Ramiele—who gave Dolly a run for the most petite person on the show.  Ramiele selected “Do I Ever Cross Your Mind” and looked every bit as uncomfortable as she sounded trying to sing a country song.  She may have picked the absolute wrong song because after she finished, she might be asking that very question after tomorrow night’s elimination show.  The judges (the one’s who count at least) didn’t like it with Simon essentially saying it was very forgettable.  
• Likely “dreading” tonight’s theme, Jason Castro spent a bit of time with Dolly who made a lame dreadlock joke that fell quite flat—a concept foreign to Ms. Parton.  Predictably, Jason strummed his guitar on center stage and sang “Travelin Through” and did a pretty decent job.  Randy liked it, Paula babbled on about it being a strong performance, but Simon was quite critical saying he “didn’t get it”.  Jason may very well be in trouble again this week.
• Slowing down the tempo and adding an acoustic guitar accompaniment to “Here You Come Again”, Carly gave a strong performance.  She again showed why she is one of the best singers to grace the stage this year.  Randy and Paula gushed about the performance, but Simon was a killjoy and said it was “good, not great” and then provided the ultimate downer by telling Carly that she needs to have a word with wardrobe because if Carly wants to be taken seriously as a pop star, she is going to have to start dressing like one.  Ryan came to her defense and questioned what was wrong with Mr. Cranky Pants—to which Simon said he was simply “saying the things that the people at home were thinking”. 
• David Archuleta tried to get the train back on the tracks with his version of “Smoky Mountain Memories”—which during rehearsal brought tears to Dolly’s false eye lashed eyes.  It was another strong singing performance by the 17-year-old, but I would like to see young David start to sing songs that are little more in the vein of a singer his age.  The judges all thought it was spectacular with Simon saying the song was “on the money” which is great, but doesn’t change my opinion about wanting him you go more youthful.
• KLC lent her countrified vocals to “The Coat of Many Colors” which was quite appropriate as the song could very well have been dedicated to the dress she was wearing.  I must give credit where credit is due and say that KLC did pretty well.  Randy and Paula agreed with me, however Simon thought the performance was “pleasant”, but nothing special.  And in what amounts to things better left unsaid, Ryan complimented KLC on her French pedicure—is that really where we are going on the #1 show on TV?!
• Syesha Mercado went predictable and selected “I Will Always Love You”.  Dressed in an awful yellow wrap dress with a red tie around the waist and seated upon a grand piano, Syesha “phonied” her way through the song.  It was yet another in a long line of self-indulgent performances—Syesha is quickly becoming the Season 7 version of Katherine McPhee…good looks, nice voice, but overly dramatic performer.  Randy called it “aw-ight”, Paula…nobody cares what Paula says, and Simon said he “almost wished you (Syesha) hadn’t gotten the song”—OUCH!  And then said the performance was “a good, not fantastic version of the song”.  Ms. Mercado may be in trouble for the second straight week.
• Michael Johns closed the show with a funky version of “It’s All Wrong, but It’s All Right”.  Wearing an odd looking blue and pink ascot and joined on stage by a guitar and piano, Michael rocked the song and got good reviews from Randy and Paula…but Simon capped off the critiques by saying it was the best Michael had sounded yet.  And then my DVR stopped….

 

But before you get all hot and bothered thinking I missed anything, never fear for I had a backup plan and that plan was called recording the next show on Fox, “Hell’s Kitchen”!—gotta love Chef Gordon Ramsay.

 

Anyway, the show was all but over except for another run through the numbers—which I don’t pay attention to because I don’t vote…I know, big shocker, but I want to maintain my unbiased opinion about our Idols.

 

So, who is going to take up residence in tomorrow’s bottom three?  If I were a member of the voting public, here are the three Idols who would NOT receive my vote:

 

1. Ramiele
2. Jason Castro
3. Syesha Mercado

 

And the Idol going home (of my bottom three) SHOULD be Ramiele.

 

But don’t take my word for it, watch tomorrow night or wait for my recap…either way, I will continue watching TV so you don’t have to…

 

Charlie